Dan Kennedy Interview Rock On Backstory

You Wanna Rock?

A conversation with Dan Kennedy

by Amy Cox Williams

Dan Kennedy, a McSweeney's contributor and author of the self-deprecating memoir Loser Goes First, returns with an account of his stint in the marketing department at a major record label. It seems his preparation for a high-profile rock-and-roll job—dressing up as a member of KISS for every Halloween and working as a college DJ as a college dropout—didn't quite prepare him for what he would encounter on the job. Rock On: An Office Power Ballad is one part insider look at the music industry and one part outsider-turned-insider view of corporate cubicle culture. Kennedy's wry observations and thoughts ("Someday I will stab you in the leg with an ordinary pair of office scissors like a modern-day Boo Radley, finally fed up for good with the way you treat others, Sir.") will be eerily familiar to those who make their living in an office environment but no less funny.

Advance recently caught up with Kennedy for the following Q&A:

Did you intend to write a book about your experiences when you first took the job? By the way, I thought your music dreams ended when you didn't receive that black Gibson Les Paul guitar for Christmas in 1978. . . .

I didn't intend to write about the job when I accepted it—it wasn't, you know, this experience that I went into eager to capture and make a creative commodity of. I've never been a fan of nonfiction where it's obvious the whole story was undertaken simply because it evidently struck the author as a great premise for a book. It's always a little disingenuous to me. My job in the record business was a very sincere undertaking—it was a late bloomer's stab at finally fitting in . . . at finally being a so-called normal man, because I've never felt like I fit in anywhere, really. But lately I've been finally understanding that if you feel marginalized in your life, it's probably a blessing. But that insight didn't come to me until now. Like you were saying: I didn't get a Gibson guitar in my teens to launch me into rock stardom—and now I didn't get the late-bloomer so-called creative executive success at age 39. There are a lot of things we want and don't get in this life; I think if you stick around long enough, you realize how lucky you were not to get what you thought you wanted.

Obviously, the job and the inner workings of the music industry didn't live up to expectations. What was the biggest disappointment? Most amusing moment?

I remember watching more than one band sell anywhere between 300,000 and a million CDs only to be regarded as a bit of a disappointment commercially. I remember an executive getting fired by the new guys who came in, and this man—fired on some random Tuesday afternoon—had signed a string of acts that had sold over 80 million CDs during the last decade. I was just standing there thinking: my God, exactly how good does one have to be at any of this before they'll consider you a success?

Some of the office situations you write about are almost unbelievable. Is it a case of "too crazy to make up"?

Exactly. I took a lot of stuff out, just because you'd look at it on the page and realize it was almost too fake even though it was really what happened. There were people in that high-rise who would behave in such a cliche, rude, powerbroker fashion that I'd just sit there stunned and expressionless thinking, "I thought people like this guy only existed in the second act of terrible screenplays."

What's your prediction for the future of the music industry?

The major labels are still paying aging white guys seven figures to try and do business in a way that hasn't worked for seven years. They'll continue to insist that there isn't an iceberg off the bow; their First Class passengers will be encouraged to simply continue enjoying a fattening dinner as the big ship stays its course. When the water gets waist deep, the old rich white guys will freak out and sell a couple of their extra houses off and fire their personal chefs, business schools will study the whole mess for decades, and that'll be that. Steve Jobs is the only one in the game who has actually given fans and consumers what they want. People said that a buck a song seems fair, he sold three billion dollars worth. Any other business would be thrilled with that proof of demand, but for some reason, the major record labels are still unsure as to whether or not this is good business.

Where did your sense of humor come from?

When I was little I always listened to my parents' comedy albums by The Smothers Brothers and George Carlin and Alan Sherman. Then when I was 10 or 11, my sister had both of Steve Martin's albums and I would listen to them obsessively. My mom gave me a book by Mark Twain. I snuck a copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas out of my sister's bedroom. Once you get exposed to a mix of great work like this all you have to do is add the 25 years of pain, debt, uncertainty, isolation, a bevy of personal defeats, some heartbreak, and . . . voila! Humor!

I've read some of your paper advice on McSweeney's. Did your expertise come in handy and/or score points at the office?

My paper product expertise never really did much for me in the workplace, no. Although I will say that I thought I was being super savvy by keeping a small box of Crane's hand-bordered note cards (3 13/16 x 5 5/16, Ecru Regent with blue border) on my desk. As if I'd, you know, dip quill to ink and woo my coworkers with fancy notes of thanks after a big project or something, and my ascent would begin. I never got around to using them; it was always like, "That was a good meeting. But is it, like, something I should send them a thank-you card for? Hmmm . . ."

Are you still writing for McSweeney's?

The website. I am, indeed. Most recently while watching the movie Car Wash at three in the morning and drinking a six pack of Chinese soda with all these weird herbs in it that are supposed to make you alert or something. So, you know, watching Car Wash, staying up all night on Chinese Cola, writing down weird random thoughts on scraps of paper to use in my Internet writing . . . it all just kind of says "Things are really working out well for me as I age."

What's next?

I'm pitching a novel called Greenwich Meantime, which is about a man named Matthew who is finally broke, on his way to divorced, and currently living in his leased European sports sedan in a sensible, well-moneyed part of Connecticut. He spends much of his time drinking and having affairs in grocery store parking lots, you know . . . that whole scene. But he eventually buys a handgun from the guy who teaches the Zen meditation class at the local community center, and with the gun, he starts trying to get his life back on track. He is between jobs, as you might have guessed.

Reading anything interesting you'd like to recommend?

I've been re-reading all of Kevin Sampsell's stuff. And Carson McCullers. And I've been reading Julius Knipl, Real Estate Photographer: The Beauty Supply District by Ben Katchor, who I am completely taken aback by, even still. And a bunch of e-mail from people having problems with paper and paper-related products—although I've been terrible at replying to them lately.

Anything else you'd like to add?

Music will save your life. I'm kidding—obviously that's the work of large pharmaceutical corporations and privatized health care. On second thought, let's try music; it's the best option we've got.

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